Review: Beware the Batman, Episode One

"Greeting my beautiful ones! The box is calling for-"
WHAM!
Sorry about that, Professor Pyg broke into my house and started carving up the furniture...damn bastard needs to learn that converting my stuff to "Pygmalism" equals a total asskicking.

Your existence, fatass.

Anyways, this week I decided to postpone my announced review of Lackadaisy Cats (as I mentioned in a previous post) in favor of reviewing the first episode of Beware the Batman.
Now before I start, let me point something out. I know for a fact that many Batman fans have been critisizing the series' existence months before it even came out, probably because of some of the choices used for casting in it (having Alfred pack heat for starters, and a better example being how they replaced Robin for it) and because of the fact it replaced Batman: Brave and the Bold.
Well let me tell you, maybe they did make some mistakes but that doesn't mean the show shouldn't be given a chance. Even in it's production stages I knew it could go either way, so if any such people who disapproved of it happen to be reading this, please just give this review a chance as I explain why it does anything but suck.

And the promo certainly didn't look 'lame.'

Anyways, the beginning clearly illustrates what kind of show this'll be. Batman is shown breaking up a bank robbery and beating the burglars senseless, but while he demonstrates a great deal of skill, and competence...it's also clear he's still a bit inexperienced at this, at one point getting a dislocated shoulder; that we actually see him pop back into place.
In this opening, we see superb animation and a clear picture of just how brutal this series can be (I myself was personally fond of the Dirty Harry esque approach Batman took to one of the gunmen.)
Now Batman has to go back to being Bruce Wayne eventually, and when he does Alfred 'gives him a wake up call' by attacking him in the morning with a baseball bat whilst dressed as a house thief. This is meant to help make sure he can look after himself (though he did hold back a tad due to Wayne's injury) and no damage (save a wrecked painting) was done.
Then Alfred removes his mask, and what do we see?

Uh, he certainly looked different in the promo.

I admit this was a bit jarring at first, but that's because I'm used to Alfred actually having hair. Liked the reference made to his service in M16 though (seeing as he was pretty much an elderly, retired version of James Bond in the comics.)
Looking back now, I actually think this may be a refreshing chance of pace for the series. They were planning to use more of Batman's lesser known characters for this after all, so a change to Alfred's appearence might not be that bad (plus I'm pleased at how he looks like almost exactly like Agent 47 in this.)
The story for this episode revolves around Alfred's desire to help protect his master by going into the field (while Bruce doesn't like the idea of, on the grounds that Alfred's job is to protect Bruce Wayne but not Batman) and stopping a pair of criminally insane eco-terrorists named Professor Pyg and Mr. Toad.
Now if anyone's unfamiliar with either of these names, let me fill you in.
The original Professor Pyg was a lesser known Batman villain made by Grant Morrison. He had an obsession with perfection and unlike most Batman villains...he was genuinely and truly insane, say what you will about the Joker, but he always struck me as having some remnant of sanity. But Pyg actually acts insane, disturbed, and twisted...and that's why I like this character a lot.

Uh, you ain't helping your case Pyggy.

Toad was still one of Pyg's minions, but aside from being a drug dealer with a penchant for reckless driving, not much was known about him as died in the second issue he appeared in.
How different that is here, where instead of dying quickly, Toad is a badass! Or at least a bit tougher than his comic incarnation, hopping around like a monkey, using a sonic croak to stun people and knock them over, and having a fondness for explosives too.
As for Pyg himself, despite the fact he was bowdlerized for television, he's still quite an intimidating figure. Using a buggy straight out of the Winds in the Willows to engage in a "stag hunt" against wealthy industrialist (and grade-A asshole) Simon Stagg.
See, part of their retooling of Pyg has made him into an eco-terrorist with a passion for animal rights. With a fondness for fighting with scalpels and bonesaws, taking a cue from the superstitious doctors of the Victorian era (and ages past.)
Now, the creators of this show said they weren't going to use the more known villains like Joker and Penguin for creative reasons. But in the case of Pyg, I think they've compensated for this by adding elements of these characters into the lesser known ones, with Pyg being similar to Poison Ivy with elements of the Mad Hatter for good measure.
Not that I'm complaining, making this Pyg being a polite, English gentleman in addition to a criminally minded eco-terrorist with a fondness for ironic whacking was a stroke of genius on the writer's part. (Though he was originally supposed to be a Gotham City crime boss, so while I'm a little disappointed he ain't, the idea behind this version is still awesome.)

"I say! Have you had your shots? No? Then allow me."

His plan won't be told here, lest I spoil the episode, though I will add that in tracking down Pyg and attempting to interfere with his scheme, Batman displayed the detective skills the creators plan to utilize more quite clearly.
Now as I close the review, let me mention one more important thing about the show, the character of Tatsu Yamashiro.
Now most people would take one look at her and assume she's an OC and rip-off of Sasha Bordeux. Now I'll forgive you for making such a mistake since her counterpart in the comics isn't generally associated with Batman, for in the comics she was known as...Katana!

Memory jogged now?

Regrettably though, her personality isn't developed much in episode one, her two brief appearances cement a connection between her and Alfred (both having been spies), and also reveals he's been trying to hire her as Bruce's bodyguard. She initially didn't accept but by the end of the episode, it's revealed she did.
Later I learned she was a former member of the League of Shadows, indicating that Ra's Al Ghul would be in here. Not sure how this is going to turn out yet though, though I personally hope he'll be based after his movie counterpart.

Because Liam Neeson is awesome.

All in all, great episode, it certainly turned out into an epic cartoon, and I hope to see the rest soon. I hope you'll take my advice and check it out, this show deserves more recognition (which I'm sure it'll get) and protection from trolls and haters.
Though on a side note, there is one way they could have portrayed Alfred that'd make him more awesome...

Just replace give him an eyepatch, mustache, balding head, and change his name to Norman Burg.

Important Note!

For those who read last week's post, I'd like to make this announcement of this week's post.
I've decided to postpone my Lackadaisy Cats review for a week or two so I can do a review of the first episode of Beware the Batman!
Hope nobody's upset by this, see you this Saturday.

Dr. Weird: Architect of the bizarre?

Welcome to the new age viewers! I, your esteemed reviewer have began setting up plans to create a WEBCOMIC! More about this in a post sometime next week (but before the formal blog post of a new review.)
For now, I want to take in this theory...that Dr. Weird is responsible for most of (if not all) the weirdness in Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Because seriously, who else makes perverts like this?

Now granted, I have very little evidence to prove this...but that's also why I came to this conclusion, you literally have no idea how any of these freaks came into existence. In the first three episodes, Dr.Weird created the very things the Aqua Teens faced off against (save the Brownie Monsters, but Shake was just being a jackass when he made them.)
The movie itself even reveals that the Aqua Teens themselves are just more experiments of Dr. Weird who "escaped" making them just like the very monsters they've fought. So this got me to thinking, "perhaps all the weirdness is Dr. Weird's fault"
It makes a good deal of sense (at least, it does to me), there's certainly no other way (aside from them being aliens) that explains the bizarre creatures. Other things, such as Dr. Wong Burger's study of 'Dicknology' and the 'dog making' software that made Hand Banana could have been made by him. With the dog making software being illegal on account of the fact that, like the Insanoflex, it got way out of hand.

Sure, and what couldn't go wrong with a machine that creates canine sex offenders?

Now, as for how Dr. Weird is able to make all this shit, it might be possible that he has some form of contract with somebody (probably the government) to build living weapons or something similar. Several of the monsters are pretty dangerous, and some definitely look the part. The Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future for starters, is seen with a heavily weaponized extending arm in the movie and has at least once demonstrated rocket boots.
Crazy as Dr. Weird is, nobody can deny he makes some crazily powerful creations. The Rabbot for starters went on a rampage almost immediately after creation, and the RainbowMaker was used by dim witted Leprechauns in an e-mail based mugging scheme (even if all they got was just a bunch of junk.)

Weird...you magnificent bastard, I burned your house!

Now, as for the other 'weirdies' like Markula and the Mooninites, they probably weren't created by Weird since the movie shows he can age, but said film also revealed he has a family (or at least a father) with implications that his ancestors engaged in these practices as well, so it could be that they're responsible for the really old creatures like the aforementioned Markula and wrote 'Mummies for Dummies'.
Aliens may have also been made by them, though I personally get the impression some of them are actually less bizarre than most of them, so this might not be the case either. For all we know, Weird and his family are composed of aliens themselves.
One more question though is, could Weird and his ancestors possibly be responsible for the bizarre continuity of the show? I don't know, and currently there isn't really any evidence suggesting this.
Anyways that's the theory for today, next week I hope to try a review of the webcomic...Lackadaisy Cats. Sometime earlier I will also give some details about my upcoming webcomic as well.
Seeya!

The world may never know.

LOEG Volume IV theories: Part II

Hiya viewers! I'm Back with a brand new post, today I'll give my other LOEG Volume IV theory...the roster.
By the end of Volume III, the League has been reduced (on account of Alan Quartermain being on the receiving end of electric bukkake) to just Mina and Orlando (the magic he-she), Emma Peel (from the old TV show known as the Avengers) is on her way to becoming immortal though, so this implies she'll join as well (long story) but who else could possibly join up? Read onwards dear reader, and see what we can find.

IT BEGINS!

Member Number one!: Jack Dakkar
In the promotional materials, Moore refers to a Sikh terrorist with a nuclear powered submarine and implies him having a connection with the League.
This terrorist is in fact, Jack Dakkar...the great grandson of Captain Nemo and grandson of Mina's long dead friend Janni Dakkar (AKA Pirate Jenny) though he's apparently their version of Osama Bin Ladin for some reason.
Now regardless of whether or not Moore is incorporating the conspiracy theories surrounding his death and 9/11 in general, let me explain what he brings to the table. All Nemos tend to be gadgeteers, and Jack himself mentions a "new Nautilous" he's making, referring to it as a way to escape the apocalypse Harry almost causes. Now since it's implicated space travel will be involved in the Fourth Volume and future installments, I'm pretty sure this is a spaceship; but this also implicates (especially since he knew Mina when he was a child, though she wasn't at the time) he might be joining this new League as its tech guy.

He's his great grandfather's great grandson alright.

Member Number Two!: The Gally-Wag
I've mentioned this guy before, he's a friend of Mina's and a source of muscle if his black matter nature is anything to go by...I mean, that stuff is supposed to be really dense, which probably explains his extraordinary voice (this thing makes the Black Canary look mute, trust me when I say it's absurdly powerful.) In the Black Dossier, he's shown to leave marks in solid stone just by walking.
Not to mention that it's not known where he is in the present, so he could probably be counted on to join.

Pictured: Moore's Gally-Wag when not having sex.

Member Number Three!: John Munch
Now anyone familiar with this character most likely knows of his most famous feature...his status as "The king of intercontinuity crossovers" Moore was likely aware of this when he features Munch's father Pete in Minions of the Moon. Munch's father witnessed an army of naked amazon women crossing the Moon (it makes sense in context), now this may have been something of a coincidence but this Munch was portrayed just like his son in terms of personality...so who's to say he didn't look into it? Only he and two men were the witnesses to this but he's a conspiracy theorist, and may have had the curiosity to look into this. If he did then he may have found out about Mina and the League (though he'd likely have had to escape the women, since they aren't fond of outsiders save Mina; but she did help them obtain a means of rebuilding their race after all) and might have told (intentionally or otherwise) John of their existence. Though of course, the League itself could be the subject of a conspiracy theory in-universe, but in either case I'm thinking he could end up inside if he actually looked into the group. Now why would he be in? Well, conspiracy theorists are fairly common in modern fiction, so the League might need one if it's incorporating modern characters...plus, he could essentially be the replacement of Alan, an aging adventurer and all that.

He also solves Muppet homicides.

Member Number Four!: Christian
The protagonist of John Bunyon's Pilgrim's Progress may not seem like a fitting member at first, until you realize he was in the first incarnation of the group...under Prospero's command.
It was also made clear that despite working for Prospero, Christian hated the man and only did this in hopes of getting back on his quest to the Celestial City.
Now while he did make it, I'm saying that if Prospero is the villain, wouldn't he be willing to try and stop him too? He lives in the same realm Prospero does, so he might find out about his plot and try to find the League, hoping to find the only people who might be able to stop him.
Moore's also been insulting modern culture quite frequently in Volume III...and who better than a Puritan to mock the living Hell outta it?

Plus, he vaguely looks like Sephiroth.

So these characters are the ones I believe to be potential candidates for the Modern League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, how many of them actually get in however is another story, but for now that isn't the question. Now I must go, next week I have a couple of very interesting theories for Aqua Teen Hunger Force and-
Wait, what's that noise?

Crap! The Antichrist broke out of the woodshed again!...I gotta get my boomstick.

Loeg Volume IV theories: Part 1

Hello boys, and girls of course. In today's post I've got one of two theories I wish to discuss,  both of which pertain to the upcoming League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Volume IV,

Now this contains spoilers for the Third Volume but odds are you've probably read my previous posts, and probably know them anyways.

And now you've won half the battle.

Theory number ONE!: The villain

At the end of the Third volume, Prospero (their leader after Alan and Mina realized Socialists were planning to turn Britain into a totaltarian dictatorship...AKA Oceania from 1984, and went AWOL. Through unknown means they went into his service and served as agents of the surreal Blazing World) is heavily implicated to have wanted Harry Potter (who as I mentioned, became a lightning ejaculating maniac of an Antichrist) dead because he wanted HIS strange and terrible new era to come instead of that of Harry's maker Oliver Haddo (or as you people know him, Lord Voldemort the Count Orlok lookalike.)

 Pictured: Voldemort's third cousin (twice removed...from his head.)

As soon as he does it though, he abandons them the way some bitches just "abandon" their babies by throwing them in dumpsters (personal note: such people must be buried alive), he didn't try to kill them but it certainly struck me as "disposing of the hired help."

 Uh, not exactly like this...

If that wasn't a big enough tip-off, this skinny, bearded bastard could have just as easily prevented the whole thing. Prospero possessed an obsidian mirror called a "scrying glass" which was capable of seeing the future. Now granted he'd lost it years ago, but no self respecting sorceror wouldn't have tried to even get a replacement for it? He could have not only stopped Harry from massacring Hogwarts and giving Alan Quartermain one of the most humiliating deaths imaginable. Such lack on concern for life in general ain't helping this Gandalf wannabe's case in the slightest.

 If you're objecting on Prospero's side, you have no place here Wright.

In the side story entitled "Minions of the Moon" he had Mina, the Gally-Wag (Alan Moore's take on the Gollywog...and an utter sex fiend) and the Gallywag's sex do- er, sorry, I mean Dutch Dolls, go to the Moon and prevent a war between two Moon based species.

The reason is this, he wanted to prevent humanity's lunar colonies from being lured out of their homes because of this conflict and into to parts that suspiciously contain the Monoliths from 2001: A Space Oddyssy...but what makes this a clue is that he said humanity wasn't to find it YET; which means this might have have been used to build up the plot for Volume four.

 Opera singers have nothing on this guy.

In the previous installment, the Black Dossier, we saw Prospero discussing an alliance with Nyarlathotep of H.P. Lovecraft fame, now since this beast has a hard on for murder and chaos that rivals the Heath Ledger Joker by ten or twenty times, and the fact the alliance in question was with Yuggoth; it makes you wonder just what the Hell Prospero had in mind with him.

 Wrong answer, smartass.

The final piece of information suggesting he's the villain is that when Haddo pointed out his deductions of what was going on, he practially reffered to Prospero outright when he said that they were playing a "subtle" game, a reference to Johannes Suttle from an old play called The Alchemist...and a former alias of Prospero's.

He'd have used Edward Elric as one, but the name was "too small."

Now his motives...what could he have in mind for a "strange and terrible new era"? My answer is based off of something in a previous installment, where Queen Glorianna (their version of Queen Elizabeth) commissioned Prospero to devise the first League as part of a long term plan to bring back the race of the Faerie back to Earth after her insane nephew forced them out of Earth, and England as well.

 Jeez, those guys really should have hid their wands better.

My guess is that this was Prospero's plan the whole time, my question however is why it'd be a "terrible" era (though I can get where the strange part comes from.)
Now anyways, this is all I can manage this week...next week I'll tell you my guesses on the League, specifically the membership. Let's see who'll probably be fighting an old wizard who probably tried to audition for Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings.

 Pictured: The reason Prospero's audition failed.